Dear Abby: Are casket photos morbid?

Flowers are placed on a casket at a funeral home in Tampa, Florida, in this 2021 file photo. (Associated Press/Chris O'Meara)

DEAR ABBY:

When our mom died, one of her three siblings took selfie photos of themselves with her in the casket. They did it the whole time at the funeral. We were taught by our mom and grandma never to take photos of someone in their casket. Several family members were beyond shocked, as were we.

Is there a polite way to keep people from taking photos of the deceased? Should you make it clear that no cameras of any kind will be permitted, and that failure to comply will have you removed? And should the family have to deal with this, or is it something the funeral home should handle for the family? -- JUST PLAIN MORBID

DEAR JUST PLAIN MORBID:

Not everyone deals with death the same way. Taking photos of the deceased in their casket is not unheard of, and may be customary in some cultures. (It may also be a useful tool for grieving.)

Although the idea of taking "selfies" at a funeral may seem over the top to you, your aunts or uncles should not have been prevented from doing so. However, if you want to ensure no pictures are taken in subsequent funerals for immediate family members, make that clear to the funeral director BEFORE the event.

** ** **

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

** ** **

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

If you purchase a product or register for an account through one of the links on our site, we may receive compensation.